Someone once asked me, “What’s it like living with a stutter?”
I briefly responded: “Simple, every day isn’t the same. Sometimes you run into people who try to offer advice. Other times, it’s people finishing your sentences. People might even laugh and then realize it’s a problem you’re struggling with. You’ll even get people who won’t even take the time to listen to you.
However, at the end of it. I ask, am I going to allow this to get in the way of my goals? Or my future? Every time I stutter, I have a choice. Do I change my words? Do I stop talking? Should I just not even respond, to begin with? I had to create my destiny every single time.”
Every day, I notice the choice lies within ourselves with the encounters we deal with—every day when we wake up. We have a choice. How will we start our destiny for that day?
Around September 2014, I started going to speech therapy. It has gotten to the point where my stutter controlled all my decisions. Any time I order food and stutter, I realize I don’t want to make a “fool” out of myself, so I’ll order another food option. When I was in the classroom, I never raised my hand because I didn’t want to take a whole 5 minutes to just ask questions (ok, maybe 5 minutes is exaggerating a little bit, but, it felt that way). It even went into the family portation when my father was upset every time I stuttered. No one seemed to understand that I wasn’t in control of this. It just happened!
It took me about 10 seconds to even say the word I wanted to say. I even had this thing my speech therapist called a “secondary”. In my definition, it meant I added another physical movement when I stuttered. This could be eyes blinking, facial expressions, or hands twitching. For me, I hit the side of my thigh and twitched my head towards my shoulder every single time I stuttered. My stutter was labeled severe. I never thought I could remotely even speak in a manner where others understood me. But, I wanted to do things. I wanted to pursue my goals and my aspirations. Nobody would take the time to listen to me. However, my speech therapist did. She listened. That started the process of the motivation to change.
I remember the first time I met her. Throughout the same clinic, she happened to be my 3rd speech therapist. I was nervous. I already knew my stutter was severe. “Can this work?” I wondered. I already had two other speech therapists. I felt the anxiety every time someone asked me a question. I wanted to answer!! But, this stutter kept getting in the way. It took almost six years with her for me to finally get where I am now. The main thing was what it took to make that choice. Creating your destiny.
Currently, I’m studying in my graduate program toward a career in psychotherapy. Also known as talk therapy. (I KNOW!) Speaking with strangers about profound encounters in life. I’ve spoken in front of church congregations about spiritual topics, I’ve sold my photography skills to local businesses for advertising material, and I talk to random strangers on the plane. Things that people might take for granted, but for others with a speech impediment. This meant more than that.
Today, we as a society deal with so many conflicts in our pathway to destiny. Things might not make sense. We may wonder “Why was I given this? I didn’t ask for this.” True! No one asked for the problems that come with living. That doesn’t mean you don’t have a choice. A choice to do something about it. You write (or speak) your destiny. Every day when you wake up, you have a choice. It’s ok to react in different ways. We are human! You are allowed to react. Then, you can decide what you will do about the presented problem.
Will you grow? Will you conquer? Will you hide? Will you talk to a stranger about it? What will you do with the choice you are given with the conflicts that come your way? This process isn’t an easy one. It will take failure. It might even cause some pain. Maybe you’ll never reach your goal. However, should you live in the unknown of where you could be tomorrow? That again, is your choice.
What will you choose with the choices you have been given?
